An Overdue Update

Hey Islandistas/Islandistos

I haven’t written here in a long time. It occurred to me a while ago and Janelle also reminded me that I never updated the blog. If you follow our Instagram page you would remember that I posted in 2018 that I was expecting a baby girl. Well my loves, it’s time for an update.

The month of October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I’ve shared my loss story and post-loss journey on my personal blog Simply Just Myah. You can check it out for the full story but I’ll give you a summary here.

In 2018, I shared on our Instagram page about C and I expecting a baby girl, unfortunately I had some complications due to pre eclampsia and had to have an emergency C-section at 28 weeks. Her name, Nevaeh Zaniyah, she was such a strong fighter. Unfortunately on October 18, 2018, she took her final breath.

Losing a child is a pain I would wish on no one. It was also then I learned how taboo the topic of miscarriages and infant loss is. So many people C and I knew have had the loss of a child whether through infancy or miscarriage. So many of our friends and family have experienced this pain and some of them said they never talked about it because they felt as if they couldn’t.

When those who have experienced this loss do talk about it, there are those who don’t know the pain but are there to comfort you through the loss, there are those who don’t know what to say, so they may end up saying something that is unknowingly insensitive to the situation, then there are those who are boldly insensitive. Thankfully C and I have not heard any bold insensitive comments or at least to our faces.

It’s ok to not know what to say, just show support, and be kind and mindful to your friends and family who have been dealt this blow in life.

On November 25, 2019 at 39 weeks and 4 days. I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy Adriel Zamari Levere via VBAC (full birth story on Simply Just Myah).

Some people as I mentioned before, sometimes through no fault of their own, (because talking about babies dying is taboo) will say things that they may think are ok, but really they are not.

Like it’s your first mothers/fathers day, how does it feel. This year wasn’t our first, we became parents when our daughter was born, because she died doesn’t mean that we are no longer parents, her dying didn’t take away our parenthood.

Or saying that we won’t be so sad now that we have this new baby- this not a nice thing to say. We will always be sad, we think about her and miss her every day, some days more than others. Saying that loss parents won’t be as sad because they have a new baby is not something they want to hear.

We love our baby boy so much, he’s 11 months now. At the same time, we can’t help but think what life would be like having him and his big sister playing together, growing to love each and protect each other. I know that the personality she had when she was here for those five weeks, that she would have been the best big sister to him.

For full stories on the journey from our loss to our rainbow. Here are the links.

-Myah

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/nevaeh-zaniyah/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2019/01/05/grief-a-snippet/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2019/01/25/he-hurt-me/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2020/02/20/i-ghosted-you-but-now-im-back/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2020/02/25/adriel-zamari-levere-part-1/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2020/03/04/adriel-zamari-levere-part-2/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2020/03/11/adriel-zamari-levere-part-3/

https://simplyjustmyah.wordpress.com/2020/05/06/q-a-a-high-risk-pregnancy-pal-journey-and-parenting-after-loss/

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